Formula Oppo: The City Wok Grand Prix of Mao's Republic of China

"Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire" (arch-duke-maxyenko)
04/18/2014 at 09:43 • Filed to: FO

This week, Formula Oppo has traveled to the Orient, via the silk road, for the fourth round of competition, The City Wok Grand Prix of Mao's Republic of China! Hopefully Kinja will show mercy this week, although Nibbles will instead pour mercury in out cuts and through clouds asbestos in our faces. Yes the run-on sentences will continue once again, if you need a refreshment of the rules you can go fuck yourself !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!!

Last race was damn exciting with Lewis Hamilton once again getting a !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!!

!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!

They claim that this is the fastest circuit and others claim that 9-11 was an inside job and I just claim time is a cube. Will this week be the same? Or will other teams foil Mercedes plans of world race domination? Will Ferrari be fighting for the top or will they languish in the back? Am I asking too many questions? Seriously, am I? I mean I could not ask so many questions but will you read them? Are you still reading any of this? If you are place an X at the beginning of your picks. The large bowl of pudding fell off the giraffe's lap.

Anyways, enough of the nonsensical rambling and questioning and speculating and horrifc gramer and run on sentances and really bad spelling issues that I should consult my doctor about so I can get some kick-ass pain killers and then bum around the house shouting at the birds. Here are the drivers:

Sebastian Vettel- Red Bull

Daniel Ricciardo- Red Bull

Max Chilton- Marussia

Jules Bianchi- Marussia

Nico Rosberg- Mercedes

Lewis Hamilton- Mercedes

Kimi Räikkönen- Ferrari

Fernando Alonso- Ferrari

Romain Grosjean- Lotus

Pastor Maldonado- Lotus

Marcus Ericsson- Caterham

Kamui Kobayashi- Caterham

Sergio Perez- Force India

Nico Hulkenberg- Force India

Felipe Massa- Williams

Valtteri Bottas- Williams

Kevin Magnussen- McLaren

Jenson Button- McLaren

Esteban Gutierrez- Sauber

Adrian Sutil- Sauber

Jean-Eric Vergne- Toro Rosso

Daniil Kvyat- Toro Rosso

My picks are as follows:

1. Lewis Hamilton

2. Nico Rosberg

3. Valtteri Bottas

Q. Hamilton

Curse: No curse of the House of Flying Daggers this week.

Lucky Numbers:

5-9-13-33-42

You have until Q1(Saturday 4-19 at 2 am est.) to make your picks.

Good luck with your picks, unress your a bunch of GODAMN MONGRAINS!

DISCUSSION (80)

Brian Silvestro > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
04/12/2014 at 17:07

You need an award for this kind of comedy gold. (Applause gif here)

1. Hamilton

2. Rosberg

3. Massa

Q. Hamilton

Tim (Fractal Footwork) > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
04/12/2014 at 17:07

!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!

1. Lewis Hamilton

2. Nico Rosberg (even though he says he's going to win)

3. Sebastian Vettel (reliability could be better for him this week)

Q. Lewis Hamilton

Curse (I'M GOING FOR IT!): Pastor Maldonado

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > Brian Silvestro
04/12/2014 at 17:28

I guess you didn't read thoroughly...

Brian Silvestro > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
04/12/2014 at 17:32

Nope.

Kinja'd!!!

Jan Hus > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
04/12/2014 at 22:49

1. Nico "I will win in China" Rosberg

2. Lewis "Feels bad for Nico" Rosberg

3. Valtteri Bottas (not giving up on him)

Q. Hamilton

Agrajag > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
04/12/2014 at 22:50

1. Rosberg

2. Hulkenberg

3. Hamilton

Q. Hamilton

I'm predicting the Berg's will show their teammates what's up.

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > Jan Hus
04/12/2014 at 22:51

Lewis "Feels bad for Nico" Rosberg

Jan Hus > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
04/12/2014 at 23:17

Shit. Wow.

Velocity- Peuguette Connoisseur > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
04/13/2014 at 12:34

Let's just go with the predictable this time so I actually get points...

1. Rosberg lettuce

2. Lew Ham

3. Nico Hulkenberger

Q: Hamilton

Curse: Nah

KoenigSTIGg > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
04/13/2014 at 13:21

1. Rosberg

2. Vettel

3. Bottas

Q. Hamilton

Thestiggschicagocousin > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
04/13/2014 at 13:28

1. Nico

2. Hamilton

3. Hulkenberg

Q. Hamilton

Lachlan - #ForzaJules > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
04/13/2014 at 21:59

1. Lewis Hamilton

2. Nico Rosberg

3. Nico Hulkenberg

Q. Lewis Hamilton

Jonathon Klein > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
04/14/2014 at 16:04

1. Hamilton

2.Rosberg

3.Ricciardo

Q. Bottas

Haimatox > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
04/14/2014 at 16:35

1. Hamilton

2. Rosberg

3. Hulkenberg

Q. Rosberg

kinjasignedmeout > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
04/14/2014 at 16:39

1. Hamilton

2. Rosberg

3. Hulkenberg

Q. Hamilton

Also I was Hykers but then kinja signed me out, so I had to make a new account.

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > kinjasignedmeout
04/14/2014 at 16:44

It will be rectified.

Bandit > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
04/14/2014 at 18:08

X (I can into instruction following)

1. Hamilton

2. Rosberg

3. Vettel

Q. Hamilton

I still want Bottas or Massa to get a podium. I've given up on Lotus this year but I shall not give up on Williams!

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > Bandit
04/14/2014 at 18:12

You are the only person to read so far!

EL_ULY > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
04/15/2014 at 10:23

Shity Wok GP of Mao's Republic well be...

1. Ruis Hamirtron

2. Nico Rosberg

3. Danru Riccardrr

Quarify: Nico Rosberg

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > EL_ULY
04/15/2014 at 10:24

You read!

Moxy > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
04/15/2014 at 12:52

X (I got you, Duke! And I hope the Neverending Story reference doesn't soar over the heads of some of the youngsters around here)

1. Hamilton

2. Rosberg

3. Bottas

Q. Rosberg

DeltawingGothamDeserves > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
04/15/2014 at 14:10

1. Nico

2. Hamilton

3. Riccardo

Q: Hamilton

Want to put Bottas down, but I'm not so sure this race.

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > Moxy
04/15/2014 at 16:29

Thank you for reading!

philipilihp > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
04/16/2014 at 19:59

ok here goes:

1. Rosberg

2. Hamilton

3. Button! One of these times it's going to pan out...

Q. Ricciardo

zadman > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
04/16/2014 at 22:19

1. Lewis Hamilton

2. Nico Rosberg

3. Valtteri Bottas

Q. Lewis Hamilton

zadman > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
04/16/2014 at 22:23

1. Lewis Hamilton

2. Nico Rosberg

3. Valtteri Bottas

Q. Hamilton

I guess we think alike...

gmporschenut also a fan of hondas > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
04/16/2014 at 23:19

After Bahrain, Mercedes.

I think Ferrari and Red Bull are going to throw caution to the wind, crank up the engines, and risk blowing an engine or running out of fuel to catch up. Who knows maybe Red Bull will create a 3rd company. http://oppositelock.jalopnik.com/red-bull-spent…

beardsbynelly - Rikerbeard > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
04/17/2014 at 00:19

I missed Bahrain because I drank too many whiskies.

Q! Lewis Hamilton

1: Rosberg
2: Hamilton
3: Ricciardo

no curse, i haven't had any luck so far.

Busted-Gauges > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
04/17/2014 at 13:48

1. Lewis Hamilton

2. Nico Rosberg

3. Sergio Perez

Q. Lewis Hamilton

PushToStart > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
04/18/2014 at 08:25

X (lololol)

Anyway...

1. Ham

2. Ros

3. Ric

Pole- Ham

Curse- none

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
04/18/2014 at 08:49

X (because I saw someone else do it...)

Lame picks:

1. Hamilton

2. Alonso

3. Rosberg

Q. Hamilton

Curse - Maldonado

KnowsAboutCars > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
04/18/2014 at 09:57

1. Hamilton

2. Rosberg

3. Bottas

Q. Hamilton

Curse: None. I'm not going to be a dick twice in a row.

Leadbull > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
04/18/2014 at 10:09

Booby sprinkles

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > Leadbull
04/18/2014 at 10:11

wut?

Leadbull > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
04/18/2014 at 10:12

Yak

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > Leadbull
04/18/2014 at 10:16

que?

Leadbull > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
04/18/2014 at 10:46

Weekend at Bernie's

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > Leadbull
04/18/2014 at 10:47

nah, that was the Bahrain GP

Hoccy > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
04/18/2014 at 11:34

1. Nico Rosberg

2. Fernando Alonso

3. Kevin Magnussen

Q: Lewis Hamilton

Curse: Jean Eric Vergne

For Sweden > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
04/18/2014 at 12:40

1. Lewis Hamilton

2. Nico Hulkenberg

3. Fernando Alonso

Q. Nico Hulkenberg

hike > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
04/18/2014 at 13:02

1. Hamilton

2. Alonso

3. Vettel

Q. Rosberg

I'm thinking Rosberg has a mechanical issue this week. Though I don't think he'll go out first.

operator2222 > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
04/18/2014 at 13:17

Kinja'd!!!

1. Lewis Hamilton

2. Nanosecond Rosberg (spell check did it, it's so beautiful :') )

3. ALONSO!! Ferrari is coming back!!

P1. Hamilton

vorspringing > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
04/18/2014 at 13:41

1. Hamilton

2. Rosberg

3. Alonso

Q. Hamilton

Curse: (let's try this) Bianchi

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > operator2222
04/18/2014 at 15:29

LOL

Viking03 > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
04/18/2014 at 17:49

1. Rosberg

2. Hamilton

3. Alonso

Q. Rosberg

Curse: none

JEM > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
04/18/2014 at 18:28

1: Lewis Hamilton

2: Nico Rosberg

3: Fernando Alonso

Q: Hamilton

(fingers crossed for Alonso)

RTeeJay > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
04/18/2014 at 21:57

1. Hamilton

2. Rosberg

3. Hulkenberg

Q. Hamilton

Curse. Maldonado

ddavidn > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
04/18/2014 at 22:24

1. Hamilton

2. Bottas

3. Alonso

Q: Hamilton

Skif6996 > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
04/18/2014 at 22:28

1. Hamilton

2. Rosberg

3. Alonso

Q. Hamilton

doodon2whls > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
04/18/2014 at 22:37

1. Lewis Hamilton

2. Fernando Alonso

3. Nico Rosberg

Q. Lewis Hamilton

NoahthePorscheGuy > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
04/18/2014 at 22:53

Q: Alonso

1. Alonso

2. Rosberg

3. Ricciardo

Bad Idea Hat > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
04/18/2014 at 23:02

I have an idea. An experiment, if you will. As long as it's allowed (aka I will fix this shortly if it isn't).

1 - Intentionally Left Blank

2 - Intentionally Left Blank

3 - Intentionally Left Blank

Q - Intentionally Left Blank

Curse - Pastor Maldonado

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > Bad Idea Hat
04/18/2014 at 23:16

so, you just want to go for the curse? I mean you can do whatever as I'm having a pretty good weekend.

Fookin' Prawns > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
04/18/2014 at 23:19

1. Lewis Hamilton

2. Nico Rosberg

3. Nico Hulkenberg

Q. Hamilton

Also, some Kung Pao Chicken and a side of Pork Lo Mein, please.

Whip Ain't Got No Gas Tank But it Still Got Woodgrain > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
04/18/2014 at 23:20

1. HAmmy

2. ALO

3. RIC

Q. ROS

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > Fookin' Prawns
04/18/2014 at 23:25

we onry have our city chicken, city beef, and sweet and sour pork.

Vi517, JDX Racing > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
04/18/2014 at 23:29

I have a feeling Rosberg will win but....

1. Lewis Hamilton

2. Nico Rosberg

3. Daniel Ricciardo

Q. Lewis Hamilton

pirates-ecu > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
04/18/2014 at 23:49

1. Lewis Hamilton - because hes going to win it all
2. Nico rosberg - because hes good, but going to come second.
3. Daniel Riccardo - BECAUSE HES FASTER THEN FINGER BOY

Q. Lewis Hamilton !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hope i can go from 2nd to first this week.

good luck everyone

Fookin' Prawns > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
04/18/2014 at 23:53

Kinja'd!!!

snappingturk > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
04/19/2014 at 00:17

1. Lewis Hamilton

2. Daniel Ricciardo (quickest in practice)

3. Nico Hulkenberg (quick in the wet)

Q. Lewis Hamilton (quick as hell anyway)

Curse: Probably Maldonado

DoomBuggie > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
04/19/2014 at 00:19

Kinja'd!!!

X because sad giraffe.

1. Rosberg

2. Alonzo
3. Hulkenberg
Q. Hamilton

No curse.

Being a Lotus fan and watching Maldonado on this Good Friday, I can't help but feel like the apostle Peter when he denied Christ three times:

Rabble #1 "Hey, aren't you a Lotus fan?"
Me "No."
Rabble #2 "Yeah, I saw you wearing a JPS t-shirt earlier."
Me "I don't know what you're talking about."
Rabble #3 "Yes you are. You were just going on about how this is gonna be Grojean's year!"
Me "No I didn't. I have never heard of that person or his team Lotus before! Leave me alon-"

*rooster crows

Oh and I'll have the schitty pork please.

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > DoomBuggie
04/19/2014 at 00:23

For this entire post, I award you 3 points

Kinja'd!!!

DoomBuggie > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
04/19/2014 at 00:26

Ha! Thank you! I will gladly accept them.

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > DoomBuggie
04/19/2014 at 00:32

You're now in 6th.

Greenmobile Supremo Commando, BRZ Extrordinare > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
04/19/2014 at 02:19

1. Hamilton
2. Rosberg
3. Riccardo

Q. Hamilton

DoomBuggie > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
04/19/2014 at 16:37

Awesome!

Skif6996 > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
04/19/2014 at 19:36

I have a question. "Pdish" has less total points than I have, but is ranked higher than I am. He is 20 and I am 21. I noticed this happens a few times throughout the rankings. Obviously in 20th, it doesn't matter much. I gotta fight for what I can get, though.

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > Skif6996
04/19/2014 at 19:42

Is this after today's qualifying? Because I haven't updated the rankings, I'll do that after the race, less hassle that way.

Skif6996 > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
04/19/2014 at 21:09

Yeah, to be honest I haven't checked in weeks.

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > Skif6996
04/19/2014 at 21:11

That's why. You got +5 for Q and he didn't join us this week, it'll be fixed after the race.

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > Bad Idea Hat
04/20/2014 at 11:56

You got -5 points

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > For Sweden
04/20/2014 at 12:01

Very good!

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > JEM
04/20/2014 at 12:01

100% Nice Job!

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > vorspringing
04/20/2014 at 12:02

Right on! minus the curse

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > Skif6996
04/20/2014 at 12:05

100%!

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > operator2222
04/20/2014 at 12:08

100%!

vorspringing > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
04/20/2014 at 12:08

I know! Darn Bianchi not blowing up or hitting anybody.

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > vorspringing
04/20/2014 at 12:36

No one got the curse right.

Skif6996 > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
04/20/2014 at 14:02

Yeah!! Alonso was screwing me at the start of the season but I knew he would pay off eventually.

JEM > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
04/20/2014 at 14:26

YES!!! Thank you! I think I'm more happy that Alonso finally got a podium. Honestly if Ricciardo had overtaken him I would have been ok with that. Either one of them getting a podium this year is what I'm rooting for.